Within these pages lay the discoveries of Captain A. Bodger.
In his travels across the universe, Captain Bodger has stumbled upon a variety of wonders including rayguns which seem to have seen use in long forgotton intergalactic conflicts. In perusing these, the viewer must understand that the creators of these instruments of destruction are long-gone, and replacement parts are likely not to be available. To fund the good captain's further exploration (and tutelage of young recruits).
One must also realize that these artifacts come from a variety of planets and were manufactured by different civiliations, some of which made them with the utmost of care, while others looked like they were slapped together with all 7 eyes shut. the captain now offers selected items for “permanent adoption”. One must understand that these items were obtained at great personal expense, after extremely dangerous expedition.
How Captain bodger came to become a space traveler
#1 The Deering Side-arm
#2 The Trans-galactic Gargleblaster
#3 The Princess (Princess Milchika)
#4 The Guerilla Modification
#5 The Mothra ray
#6 The Three-handed Siliconic Speilkalator (Prince Fleishik)
#7 The Double-frexeled Plasmatic Defruminator (Feygaleh the Pirate)
#8 The Iskendarian “Hot-Rod” (Wilam of Phatt)
#9 The “Ethhyl”(D-bartonian conflict)
The good captain can be found in three ways:
1. Bounce a green diclectic beam off the moon while standing on the IFuYu tower of the great wall.
2 Intergalactic cellulific communicator number 320-AVAIL-77
3. E-maylonic transmogrifier firstname.lastname@example.org
The Captain refuses to take any responsibility for havoc wreaked as a result of the use of the above mentioned items. He has already been dragged halfway across the galaxy to appear in Vogon court under ludicrous circumstances by blood-sucking lawyers (yes, the lawyer came from planet K-9 and really did suck blood! Thru those long teeth next to the incisors). Anyhow, he has had enough of the court system for now. You buy it, you sign the title right away!
There are plenty of DMV”s (Department of Murderous Vepons) scattered across the solar system these days, so get your sorry ass over there and save us both some trouble!!!!
Due to transactions with various characters of dubious distinction (and extinction), the captain no longer accepts Visa or Terran Express cards, however he is looking for an old lathe. Cash talks!